Lesson 10 of 1220 minutesFree

When the rejections come

Turn rejections into data: find the stage where your search is failing, ask for feedback that helps, and plan for the bad week before it arrives.

Goes with Chapter 10 of How To Get Your Dream Job. Everything saves in this browser only.

Before you start

Your path

Choose your field and level. The examples and suggestions in this lesson change to match.

The story

Three final rounds, three noes

Olu · Operations director · made redundant after nine years

Olu had run operations across six distribution centres until a merger made his role redundant. In four months he'd had nine interviews, reached the final stage three times, and been turned down each time.

His tracker told a different story from the one in his head. His CV was working. His first interviews were working. Every rejection came at the final stage, and two of the three feedback notes mentioned the same thing: his answers about leading change were vague.

“I’d decided I was the problem. It turned out the problem was one story I hadn’t told properly.”

One rejection tells you almost nothing. Ten, looked at together, usually tell you a great deal.

Step 1 · Find your pattern

Which stage is failing?

Enter the numbers from your tracker. The analyser shows your conversion at each stage and where to focus.

Applications and approaches

Replies or conversations

First interviews

Final interviews

Offers

Enter your numbers.

Step 2 · Facts, not story

Rejection is data, not a verdict

After your next rejection, write the facts and the story you're telling yourself, separately. Then write a more accurate, more useful version.

The facts

The story I’m telling myself

A more accurate, more useful story

Step 3 · The comparison log

Their announcement, not their eight months

A long search is exactly when LinkedIn fills with other people's new roles. For one week, note each time you compare your search with someone else's, and find a fairer comparison.¹

Who and what I compared

What I couldn't see

Did it help?

A fairer comparison

1. Adapted from Shaun Simpson, Why Should I Give a Monkey’s? (2024), Exercise 18.

Step 4 · Your setback card

Plan for the bad week before it comes

Three things I’ve achieved in my search so far

What I’ll tell myself (a fact, not a slogan)

Will this matter in five minutes, five days, five weeks, five years?²

One person I’ll talk to

One small action I’ll take within 24 hours

How I’ll rest, without guilt

2. Adapted from Shaun Simpson, Why Should I Give a Monkey’s? (2024), Exercise 26.

If low mood lasts for weeks, or affects your sleep, appetite or relationships, please talk to your GP or another qualified professional. In an emergency, call 999; Samaritans are available any time on 116 123 (free in the UK and Ireland).

★ Core activity

Your setback card

Your pattern, your reframe and your setback card, on one page. Keep it on your phone, and use it the next time a rejection knocks you off course.

Before you move on

Three questions

Five minutes, in English or your own language: whichever lets you think most clearly.

What does your pattern tell you about where your search is stuck?

What's the story you tell yourself after a rejection, and what's a fairer one?

Who is on your setback card, and have you told them?

What to remember

Five things to keep

Rejection is data, not a verdict.
Ask for feedback briefly and graciously; at senior level, search consultants often know the real reasons.
Find the stage that's failing, and fix that stage.
A long search is a marathon: protect your energy.
Plan for the bad week before it comes.

Lesson 11: Offers, negotiation and references

Compare offers on the whole package, set your three numbers, and negotiate calmly.

Start Lesson 11 All lessons

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